Catching back up with life

I constantly feel like I am trying to catch up with life.  I always feel two steps behind whatever is going on and I am always trying to get caught up.  This really goes against my natural tendency to have everything organized and planned out and when I feel like I am behind, it really does not leave me with a good feeling at all.

Part of it I am sure comes with having 4 children.  Spontaniety has become a key factor in my life.  Now, I used to enjoy being spontaneous.  You know, back in the old days (before kids).  Nick and I would decide at midnight to go to Safeway and do our grocery shopping.  Or we would be hanging out at home on a Saturday morning and decide, hey, let's go into DC to one of the museums.  

Spontaneity and children seem to be a paradox.  They do not go well together in the sense that it is nearly impossible to just do something on the fly when it comes to bringing 4 children along.  Everybody has to be dressed in a presentable manner, which means that certain girls here may not dress themselves if we are going out.  4 heads of hair need to be brushed, everyone has to use the bathroom before we go, we need to make sure we have any necessary items to take with us, etc.  It has gotten easier for sure as they are getting older, but everything needs to be a well-planned production or I feel like I am going to crack.

But at the same time, it is necessary to be able to cope with being spontaneous because you never know what life (or one of your kids) is going to throw at you.  For me, I'll have a nicely empty week to do school and maybe something fun I like to do like scrap or sew, and then BAM I have a week full of doctors appointments.  Or I will have no plans to go anywhere and then suddenly there is a grocery list of things we are out of and have to have yesterday.  Or I can have plans set for a day and then someone is puking, or running a fever, or has a headache.

What it comes down to is that I can plan, and sometimes it works, or sometimes it doesn't.  I like to plan and not fly by the seat of my pants, but sometimes it is necessary to let go and see what happens.  It is a paradox, but what is the hardest is finding the balance between the two.  I've become so opposed to being spontaneous after years of having to plan every outing so no one has a melt down (me included) so that when something unexpected pops up, it leaves me very flustered.  

I have a feeling that by the time I figure it out, they'll all be grown up and out of the house!