A Satisfying Day

I am happy to report that today has been a very satisfying day. I really needed it after last night.

Last night was rough. Probably one of the worst I have had since Nick left. There was a mishap involving a certain girl and a puppy. It was an accident, however, I reacted quickly and poorly, and I feel very badly for how I reacted. I am not a yeller, and I rarely yell at my children. Occasionally I yell over them to get them to hear me if they are being particularly loud, but other than a slip up every now and then, I rarely yell, and when I do, it's usually a reaction to something scary that is threatening someone's safety, or because something really scared me. This was not a proud parenting moment. I felt bad enough, and then the girl asked me through her tears if she was going to jail, because people who hurt animals go to jail. Wow. I felt as small as a speck at that moment. I did apologize to her for yelling, and assured her that people who hurt animals on accident do not in fact go to jail.

I was on the floor coddling the poor puppy, yelling at a poor girl, that girl was crying, 2 other girls were crying, heck, I was crying myself. To be totally honest, I panicked. My kids, I have lots of experience there, I know what to do in case of an emergency, I know what actually constitutes an emergency, and at their ages, they can tell me what hurts. A puppy, not so much. Zero experience. As I am assessing the damage to the crying puppy, the cat, and this is laughable after the fact, jumps on my back and sinks her claws in. I am assuming she thought I was hurting the pup, and was defending her. This strikes me as pretty hilarious now that it's all over, because said cat has never expressed anything remotely close to lovey dovey-ness towards the dog.

I escape the cat, grab the phone and emergency vet number and call and leave my message with shaking voice. Long story short, I think puppy was hurt, but not badly, perhaps some of the crying was due to being frightened, but by the time an hour had passed, the hurt foot/leg was being walked on with barely a limp. After some research, I administered some arnica, which is my go to med for bumps and bruises.

The suckiest part of it all, was that I couldn't call Nick to talk me down, and to assure me it would be okay, or to ask him what he thought I should do. It is in those type of moments that I feel utterly alone. I have to make a big decision, or deal with a hairy situation completely on my own with no input from him. That really stinks and I hate it when that happens. Instead, I called a friend who cried with me (that is a true friend, one who will cry with you and it makes you feel like you crying is okay) and she talked me down. If you are that friend, you know who you are, and I truly treasure our friendship and thank you so much for always being here for me.

It just so happened that I already had a vet appointment schedule for her for today. By this morning, all had settled down and pup was running around and jumping and playing and chasing the cat, who not so lovingly was swatting at her. At the appointment, the vet totally calmed my worries and fears. These things happen. She is a puppy, she will on occasion get hurt, maybe stung or bitten by a bug, have accidents, and it's okay. I felt so much like a new parent. Anyone who is a parent, do you remember (if this has happened, and I don't personally know one parent to whom it hasn't) the first time your baby/toddler/child got hurt on your watch? Maybe they fell down when walking, toppled off a bed/chair/couch, got burned by something you left in too close of reach, etc? It felt just like that. I felt helpless, horrible because I allowed something to happen, completely panicked as to what to do. It really felt just like that. My vet, much like a pediatrician who gets run to after a mishap with a child, calmed me down, told me it was okay and told me what to do in case something like this happens again. I am now armed with information on what people meds are safe for her, in what doses (now and when she gets to her full size) and when to use them.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief when the vet told me puppy girl was going to be just fine. A HUGE sigh of relief. I love my vet, I really really do. He reminds me of an old country doctor, never pushes for stuff to get done that really doesn't need to be done, he is patient, wonderful with the animals, and very sweet to my children. He also soothed my girl's fears about accidentally hurting the dog, and assured her that she was not bad, nor was she going to jail and that accidents happen. The important thing is we have a plan in place to assure that this particular accident will never happen again. Fiona is up 10 lbs. from her last visit, now weighing in at almost 18 lbs. Wow. She grows fast.

So that part of my day was extremely satisfying. I almost came home and drank a Red Bull, but I am savoring that for another day. I must ration out my 3 remaining cans very carefully. Unless anyone wants to start a Red Bull fund for me, which I would gladly accept.

But by and far, the most satisfying part of my day was chatting with Nick on the webcam. This is the first time he has been able to get the camera part to work, so I sat at my computer, happy as a clam, looking at my husband and hearing his voice. We chatted for about 40 minutes, and those 40 minutes were pure bliss. The girls got on and got to talk to him and that was just so wonderful to see. It was sweet and heartbreaking all at the same time to see Evy reach her little hand up to the camera and to see Nick do the same and Evy reach out to touch the computer screen with Daddy's hand on it.

I am in awe of modern technology. The fact that Nick can be deployed, be in Iraq and have wireless internet in his room, and have a webcam and do a voice/video chat, it is just amazing. The fact that I can hear his voice resonate throughout the playroom, in my house, where it belongs, it is the most wonderful feeling ever.