The start of something new

It has been years since I have blogged.  Well....on the internet, actually.  See, I "blog" all the time in my head, venting about situations, re-living interesting moments in my day, etc.  I guess some people call it "talking to themselves" but I prefer to think of it as intra-cranial blogging.  Such is the life of an Army wife, that I get tired of talking only in levels that my children can understand me, and yearn to have some adult conversation, so I do my little internal blogging and feel better. 

But, things are cropping up here and there in my life lately, and I think if I keep it up to myself, I am going to eventually blow, so best to get closer to "normal" and blog like most people do.  Hopefully it will help.

It has really been a crummy week.  Long, drawn out, Dr. appointments every single day.  That is too much going out for this introverted homebody.  Usually, my girls are begging me to go out somewhere.  I know it's bad when they get excited about going to the commissary to get groceries.  When it gets to that point, it forces me to re-evaluate our current week and say, you know, I really should take the little heathens out more often.  (Note: Little Heathens is just a nickname, they are actually great kids, most of the time!) 

However, that being said, my 5 year old girly asked me today, knowing that we have an appointment tomorrow and another one on Friday after homeschool co-op, "Mommy? Do we have anywhere to go on Saturday?"  I told her, "NO!!  On Saturday we are not leaving the house, and I am sitting around in my pajamas the entire day long."  She breathed that over-dramatic sigh of relief that 5 year olds are so good at and said, "Whew, GOOD!  I am SO tired of going places and just want to stay home and chill out on Saturday!"  My sentiments exactly, baby, mine exactly.  Truthfully, I want to ditch all commitments and appointments between now and Saturday, disconnect my phone, toss the cell into the ever growing laundry pile (where it shall surely be buried for days at this point!) lock the doors, turn the lights out and hibernate until Saturday, when I can sleep in (as much as an almost 2 year old certain somebody will let me) and wake up and breath a sigh of relief that I can once again re-claim my homebody status and set up shop on the couch in my jammies all day.

See, that's one of the problems though, I can't breathe.  I was diagnosed with asthma before I got pregnant with Evy.  It came on after a bout with pneumonia.  I ended up getting prescribed an inhaler, and after a round of steroid use, I was fine, then I got pregnant.  I only had trouble with it one time in my pregnancy, at least according to the doctors.  I was short of breath, and dizzy and shaky and feeling way off.  This happened sporadically through my pregnancy, and I thought it was a blood sugar thing.  I ended up in L&D because one of these "spells" coincided with some pretty bad swelling in only one leg.  Swelling was chalked up to be baby in a weird position sitting on something, and the other was said to be a panic attack, that I got shaky and dizzy because I had a hard time breathing from my asthma.  Whatever.  They gave me an inhaler, I never used it again during the pregnancy.

I used it once in a blue moon since she was born, if I had been deep cleaning and kicking up dust, I'd get a wheeze, or standing too close to the grill inhaling BBQ smoke, or whatnot.  Hardly ever used the thing.  Fast forward to 2 weeks ago when a nagging cough/sickness lingered and I went in and turned out I had pneumonia again.  I got a new inhaler since now that I actually needed it, mine had expired.  Took the Z-pack, and all other meds, felt great in a week.  Then a few days later, the coughing and breathing trouble, and it has lasted and lasted.

Now I am having asthma attacks nightly, waking me up out of a sleep, not being able to breathe in without coughing out and needing my inhaler almost every 4-6 hours day or night.  It really stinks, and is getting pretty scary at night.  So I broke down and made an appointment for me for tomorrow.

  

Friday after homeschool co-op we have an appointment for Sophia to see the pediatric neurologist.  Hopefully we can get some help.  They called me this morning to "remind me" of the appointment that I had no idea we had.  That's how referrals work around here.  They make the appointment somewhere between here and San Antonio, and then if you are really special, they send you this little thing in the mail that is reminiscent of those slips I used to get when I had insufficient funds in my bank account and the overdraft protection came into play, you know the kind you have to tear off the perforations and rip out a carbon copy thingy while trying to avoid making your fingers look like you just rubbed them over the front page of today's news.   We get them from time to time for her specialist appointments, but no special paper this time.  I am thankful for the phone call, and even more thankful that the appointment was made so quickly.  Now to see if this doctor will be helpful for us, or be another who looks at me like I am a crazy freak because I am advocating for my child.

Off to bed now, I just realized how late it was.  And look, I only intended to write a sentence or two.  Now can you imagine all of that stuck in my head?